The greatest thing since being a kid

is how I am describing my new contacts. They're the latest thing in bifocal lenses according to my optomitrist. Honestly, I could see PERFECTLY up close and at distance from the moment I put them in. No effort required, no squinty one-eyed antics, no drunken distorted feeling . . . just good clean vision the way it used to be. Newspapers, computers, tv, driving, everything in perfect focus. In fact, better than in focus because of the slight magnification effect, it's like 20/10 which I've never had.

So now my awesome badass Ray Ban progressives, worn four days, are being retooled for distance sight only, to carry me through on Saturday mornings and days where contacts just aren't comfortable. Which won't be too often 'cause I'm loving these things.

The lenses are called Air Optix and they're simply fantastic. What to do with all those older pairs of readers? I'm going to take them to Sunday School for those of us who simply can't/won't remember their glasses.

Me? I've been set free!